Have you ever been in a group of people when one person starts to gossip and speak ill of another person who is not present? I know that when someone starts to talk about someone that I get very uncomfortable. I tend to lose respect for the person doing it. I firmly believe that if you have an issue with someone, than go tell them and talk it out. I also believe that if you don't have anything nice to say than don't say it.
Part of my practice is to see the good in people. To see their true beauty. I have been working on not judging people for over 5 years now. I am getting better, but I am still not there.
However I hate gossip and I hate when someone tears someone down so that they feel better. Why is it ok to hurt another person this way? Why do you allow it to happen near you? I usually try to redirect the conversation or I will actually say that I won't participate in that conversation.
How would you feel if you found out it was being done to you? Last week that happened to me. Someone I had been close to for over ten years and considered him my brother. He was that close. It broke my heart to find out that he spoke ill of me to others when I was not around. What hurt the most was the things he said about the size of my body and how I look. I was shocked at first and then very hurt.
I have a rule to never react to a situation with emotion. I wait 24 hours and then make a plan. So I did that. Instead of hurting him, I have chosen to thank him for the friendship he did give me, tell him I can no longer be friends and pray that he has a good life and let it go.
I realized in those 24 hours that he must be more unhappy than I realized. Someone happy and connected to spirit would never do that.
So before you start to gossip, ask yourself if this is in your highest good. If this happens to you, please take the 24 hours to think about it and handle the situation with love.
There is a hole in my heart right now where he once was, but I will heal. I know I made the right choice as sad as it was. I choose to lift up my friends and ask the same from them.